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May 18, 2006

話を聞かない女

少し前に「話を聞かない男と地図の読めない女」って本が
はやってましたね。
あの本の題名を見た時
「うちの夫のことじゃん!」って大うけしました。
夫は本を読んでたり、新聞を読んでたりしてると
全然話が聞こえなくなってしまう人です。
自分にはない物を持ってる気がして
その集中力が「新鮮だな〜」なんて
思ったりしたものですが、時々
「あなたは私の話聞いてないよね〜」って
チクチクからかってみたりもします。

そんな私に、夫はかねがね
「そうはいっても君も聞いてないよね」って
応戦してたのですが、
私は自分のこと意識が外向きで、
人の話はすばやくキャッチする人間だと思ってたので
「自分がいわれたからって、そんな風に言い返しちゃって〜」と
真に受けていませんでした。

あんまり私が自分の非を認めないのに
業をにやしたのか、
先日夫が反撃してきました。
パソコンで一生懸命資料を作ってると
突然夫から「今の話聞いてた?」って聞いてきました。
「え、なんのこと?」って感じなのですが
そういえば、確かに耳の奥に夫が一生懸命話かけてくれて
その話をキャッチして返事をした気配が残ってます。
でも、残念なことにいろいろたどって行っても
その時夫が話してた話題を思い出せなかったんですけど。
「ほら、君だって話聞いてないじゃん!」

ほんとだ〜私、話聞いてないじゃん!
結構びっくり!
夫よごめんなさい。

最近わかったんですけど、
自分が見たり聞いたりしてるものって
世界のすべてじゃないんですよね
目を開いて前をむけば自分の前にある物は
すべて目に入ってくるって思ってたし
その場に届いてる音はすべて自分に聞こえてるって
思ってました。
でも、この「私は話をきいてない」ってことが
教えてくれる通り、
その場に届いてる音は
私が何らかの選択をしなくちゃ耳に届かないんですねー。
きっと、目も同じなんじゃないかなー。
私は自分のこと
「いいセンサーをもって目と耳のするどい人だ」なんて
思ってましたが、
「自分のキャッチできる世界の中で」という
限定がついてるってことに気づいてなかったんです。

気づいたからって
今までキャッチできないものが
できるようになるわけではないでしょうが、
同じ物を見てても
私に見えてるものと、ほかの人にみえてるものは
ちがうかもしれないって思うと
その物にいろいろな光があたってる
感じがしてなんか楽しいですね〜

|

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